For the past couple of weeks I've been pretty quiet on different discussions that was started in the groups I follow. And I was wondering why I had no inspiration to write anything or to comment. I think I figured it out now....
I've been exploring this world since november, so four months has passed by already...My opinions and my way of seeing the lifestyle has fluctuated and evolved. I'm starting to have a better feel and grasping what I want or dont want..
There is one thing though that bothers me...And to explain that I'll use mathematics, it's the only way it make sense to me..
First of all, there is protocoles, people that likes it, people that dont, the one who does'nt really care about and they'll go with the flow...
So...
If you put a Dominant and a submissive together in BDSM it equals a D\s relationship
But there is no such thing as sub + sub = what??? Error on the calculator!!! -0
And what about Dom + Dom = what??? A supremacy!!!
I find that in this lifestyle we tend to rationalize, every situation, every type of relationship, every behavior. BDSM is not something concrete like mathematics.
In mathematics 2+2=4 and there is no other answers to that or possibilities.
Why in BDSM you need an answer or a way to calculate a situations. BDSM is not rational, far from it, we are dealing with emotions, feelings, fears, relationships, trust, partnership...How can this be so concrete, it's impossible...Why do we need to categorize people, we are not a group of numbers where Dominant people are are pair numbers the and the submissive people are impairs numbers or the other way around.
When I look at people I dont see them as numbers, but as human being, I understand that some are submissive and others Dominant. I, myself know that I'm a submissive person, but I dont systematically think I'll be match with a dominant person cause this is the answer mathematically in this lifestyle.
I already feel there is some people getting mad at me, but don't give me wrong I'm not complaining or making fun of the protocole...I'm just wondering why there is such a battle sometimes on threads....There is because we are dealing with peoples believes and feelings...
So basically what i'm trying to say is I dont think there is a definite answers on the lifestyle, like mathematics has some. But just enjoy being what you are and stop trying to find the right answer, dont make it complicated, just live it...
I dont think there is any accountants in the lifestyle it's not a concrete world enough for them... :D JOKING!!! I'm sure there is!!!
So on this here is my personnal formula for the Lifestyle
(Dom + sub + Top + bottom) x community = ∞
Infinite possibilities
I won't pretend to understand the BDSM culture. But I'll take the accountant comment right away. Usually the most wound up tight-asses in the real world are the ones with the most unleashed sex-lives. It's why I'd love to fall for a science nerd ;-)
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I think there is some math behind human pairing. Being a Solitary Alpha. I need a mate who will need to be of very strong character to stick around with me, because I by definition don't need people around me and actually prefer to be left alone, so the women I date need to have a strong character and not be emotionally dysfunctional or needy, because it's not gonna work. It's gotta be like a lock and key.
So maybe Doms need to be with Subs for it to work. like I said I don't know the DBSM world very much.
Doms NEEDS to be sub, but will never do. There is a question of ego in there...
ReplyDeleteThe Maths that I have applied before in one of my blogs was this.
ReplyDeleteNo one is Dom a 100% and no one is sub a 100%.
Perfection doesnt exist. It's a questions of ratio (if we are applying maths here)
90% Dom + 10% sub = Person
30% Dom + 70% sub = Person
50% Dom + 50% sub = Person
So, the basic thing is, no matter your ratio of dominance or submissiveness, the answer is always the same. A Person.
Somebody with a mind and spirit that can express themselves in any way they want.
No matter the path, it's yours.
One way of living BDSM has NEVER taken anything away from anyone else's.
Accept and embrace the difference as they say!
And rhéa, I do like your maths! ;)
hehehe... interessant! :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with pretty much everyone here... cause well everyone is human!
But the one i do agree the most with has not even posted here... but on fetlife... my dear own sub ;) ... Why do we keep asking so many questions... trying to find so many answers... especially since people are fundamentally different... lets just have fun!!! enjoy life!!! :)
PS: I do love maths too ;) hehe...
OK I hate being too busy to read the threads, I'm always late to answer :(
ReplyDeleteI just want to add that when I talk to a person, I'm not looking to know if he/she is dom, sub, switch or whatever.... I want to know THE person, see if I "click" with their personnalities in order to know if I have common interest to have a friendship with him/her.
If it's to play, well then it's the same thing, I want to know if I can be at ease with that person, if I can trust the person enough to play with..... I'm not looking to know if they are strick with a protocol or not.
Et comme j'aime bien le dire, le plaisir avant tout...
P.S.: I DO NOT like math however lol...