No more hidding!

If you have noticed I don't blog as much, but I've been holding back on my writing because a lot I have to write about is my personal life. I was keeping everything for me, so I dont put the identity of my partner out there. But honestly I reached a point where I cant hold it back anymore.

A lot is going through my mind and I need to write about it and how I feel right now. I'm sure he will understand...I hope!

As you know I met somebody in January, I was not prepared for that and I would even say not looking for anybody either. We did everything in the proper order, seeing, dating each other. In the past couple of weeks now, it's obvious that we have moved to the next step. We are a couple..LOL..it makes me laugh, because I was so scared of the word relationship. I so didn't want to make the same mistakes. But honestly, I truly believe I wont, just because everything is flowing and it's a natural relationship.

Last night, a big step was done, he met mom..I was nervous like hell, first time it ever happens to me. Usually I don't care! But this time I wanted everything to be perfect. My fear was to introduce him to my mother and that in a couple of weeks from now he would brake the relationship, because it's not working out. I'm putting a lot of pressure on my shoulder and most probably on his. As pathetic it sounds, I want him to be the last one that my mom meets, I want our relationship to work out basically.

You know when you feel it's right!! You don't want things to stop, you just want them to grow in this relationship with the bad and good things. Last time I felt this way it was 11 years ago, I was madly in love with a wonderful men, that made me the women I am today. We decided not to pursue this relationship because we lived in different countries and it was to hard to deal with that. Well guess what? I feel exactly the same about my man right now. It feels so good to have those feelings again. I never thought it would be possible.

I have to pinch myself sometimes to realize I'm not dreaming. He does exist, he's real, he's all that to me. Would I say " I love you" to him, I'm not there yet. I'm a romantic girl, so I guess the right moment will show up eventually. It's not something that you say just like that, you have to feel it and mean it when you say it. I don't like it when it becomes an habit. You know those couples that says it everyday "freakin" day, or before they hang up the phone, I hate this pattern. It doesn't have the same impact then when it comes truly from the heart once in a while.

I have to thank my mom as well...I told her all the truth about where I met him and what does he do for living. Not for a second she judged him upon the information I gave her. She accept him as he is, and for me this means a lot and makes the realtionship so much easier. I think he is quite happy about that to. He doesn't have to justify anything and he's able to be himself around her. Am I experimenting the best of the world right now? I think I am, and pretty lucky about it.

So....

To you sexy man,
You are amazing to me and thanks for giving me those butterflies in my stomach, I thought they would never come back in my life.